“The problem is all inside your head…the answer is easy if you take it logically.”
Paul Simon, songwriter
Therapy works. Study after study shows that any therapy is better than no therapy, and more therapy is better than less. Even if you have a condition (like anxiety or depression) that improves with psychotropic medication, medication alone is usually less helpful than therapy alone. If medication proves to be helpful, you’ll get better results with a combination of medication and therapy. But figuring out what kind of therapy and which therapist to see is a daunting task. According to Wikipedia, there are over 165 different types of therapy, from Abreaction Therapy to Writing Therapy. Psychology Today lists 58 (!) of the most popular therapies, and includes links to practicing therapists. But there’s no research study that proves any one type of therapy is better than any other type. Below are seven tips to getting effective therapy.
Each person is a unique individual. Hence, psychotherapy should be formulated to meet the uniqueness of the individual’s needs, rather than tailoring the person to fit the Procrustean bed of a hypothetical theory of human behavior.
Milton H. Erickson, psychiatrist, founder of modern hypnotherapy and author.
1. Find a therapist you like.
According to research study after research study, the most significant factor in effective therapy is the “therapeutic alliance.” (Which is really just a fancy way for saying how well you get along with your therapist). If you feel uncomfortable with your therapist, you probably won’t stay in therapy long enough to benefit from it. The experience will likely be frustrating for both of you. It’s better to find a new therapist than to waste time trying to “make it work” in spite of it. Trust your gut and move on.
2. Find a therapist that likes and understands you and can appreciate your point of view.
You won’t get much accomplished in therapy if you don’t think your therapist likes you. You need to feel comfortable with your therapist. If you have any concerns in this area, discuss them with your therapist. Pay careful attention to how your therapist responds. The ability of the therapist to respond appropriately to your feedback is a key element of the therapeutic alliance. If the therapist can’t or won’t change his or her approach to you after you say what’s not working, it’s probably time to try a different therapist.
3. Find a therapist who agrees with you on goals.
Agreement on goals is critical to a strong therapeutic alliance. If your therapist doesn’t agree with your goals, or suggests goals you don’t agree with, you’re not likely to be motivated to work on them. Lack of motivation won’t lead to success reaching them – or the goals you came to therapy to achieve in the first place. Honor your goals, motivations and desires, by sticking to them so that you are encouraged to work hard to achieve them. If your therapist is unwilling to help you achieve your goals or unable to suggest alternatives that appeal to you, find a therapist who can.
4. Find a therapy that fits.
By some counts, there are over 400 different types of therapy. Agreement between therapist and client on the approach to change is a critical piece of the therapeutic alliance. If you find yourself at odds with the opinions or suggestions of your therapist, or if you are not getting what you ask for, it may help to discuss your concerns. This gives your therapist the opportunity to change his/her approach or offer a more compelling rationale. You may then feel more comfortable about trying the therapist’s suggestions. But if not, and your therapist can’t or won’t change an approach that does not fit or seem relevant for you, it’s time to move on.
5. Find a therapist who sees hope for your problem or situation and believes that you can change in a reasonable period of time.
Nothing lasts forever, least of all problems. Your therapist needs to have enough hope for both of you because change is nearly impossible without it.
6. Expect some positive change to happen relatively quickly.
It is reasonable to begin to see positive changes or to feel like you are at least on the right track in the first three to six sessions. You won’t be completely “cured” in six sessions, but most clients begin to notice some improvements in the area of the problem. Other (seemingly) unrelated areas may also begin to change by then. If things don’t start to get better in six sessions, you may not be getting effective therapy. Talk to your therapist about it and if you don’t see progress in another session or two, consider finding another therapist.
7. Be careful about relying solely on psychiatric medication.
All therapist’s (counselors, social workers, psychiatrists, etc.) are fallible human beings who “practice” based on their education and experience. Remember that yesterday’s “best practices” and “exciting new treatments” (bloodletting, lobotomies, electroshock, to name a few) are today’s snake oil. Be especially cautious when being offered experimental treatments or psychiatric medications. (Exercise greater caution with psychiatric medication for children, since such drugs can’t be tested on children. These medications are usually prescribed “off label,” making your child a guinea pig in a large, poorly defined, uncontrolled study.)
Busy doctors often get most of their information about new drugs from Big Pharma. Drug makers spend many times more on marketing (about $10,000 per physician per year) than they do on research and development. Drug salesmen tend to oversell the benefits and underestimate the risks to the consumer. We are just as easily influenced by advertising as anyone else. Get a second opinion from another doctor, talk to your pharmacist and loved ones about the benefits and potential side effects first. If you are satisfied that a medication is the right choice for you, try it. But if you have any doubts, find another therapist (or doctor). If anyone tells you that you have a chemical imbalance, discuss what that really means.
We hope you found these seven tips to getting effective therapy useful.
“You don’t need to discuss much, just drop off the keys, Lee, and get yourself free.”
When you’re ready to make a change, contact us.